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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?